Who Is Lee?
Pain in the Heart is death by part

I'm 28, I live in San Francisco, CA, I came out in Houston, Texas and started and explored Transition and myself there. I grew up in New Orleans, LA in a suburub called Harvey, LA/  I am a only child, my mother died 2 weeks after September 11,th 2001 (spt 25) on my uncles birthday whom was a father to me, and I would loose my grandmother on the same day . I'm transgender I have felt this way seince I was 3 or 5 years old. I did not fully understand such things till my teen years, and over protective and ultra-consertive upbringing. I had a rough, unhappy childhood. Nevertheless, was razed by good catholic folks even though my mom never practiced even I didn't in my upbringing. I was never religious growing up but had LDS folks and also even to my early childhood, some missionaries visited my folks I had a great uncle and great aunt who were like my grandparents in my upbringing. (not the same uncle father figure that was my mother's brother)

I had a rough and unhappy childhood and upbringing. I moved around a lot, broke down, and I was born a Tramatic birth, Blue Brain, I was an emegency c-section and spent some of my early few mounts In a Peidratic ICU. I tuned out ok, I studdered sometimes and struggled thorugh my childhood do to my brain dammage to my left frontal lobe, but latter in my adult life turned out more or less O.K.

I'm transgender I'm out as such and in early transition stages, I came out to my folk's family and church members. I made bad choices. I also like ham radio, computers and IT and engineering and learning and photography, travel and writing. And 4x4 diesel pickup trucks and rvs, cooking, bbq, grilling, health, fitness, books, indie films, horror films, action films and sci-fi.

I have many friends, aquainces but urn for something more than drinking friends, I am outgoing, friendly and trusting but honestly very lonely and sad behind all My cheerful joy and outgoing and kind deeds.

I like gothic, ind music, 80s music, some country (reminds me of mom), classic rock (another childhood reminds me of my uncle) 80s hair bands, metal, electronic dance music, techno, old classic country, jazz, classical music and synth-pop, and live bands.

I spend a bit of my free time in coffee shops, diners, bars, bowling alleys, museums, pool halls, the park, and rooftops of big buildings. I have a passion for art, digital art, photography, writing, and blogging and web design.

Myself I prefer monogamous relationships, commitment, family and one day would like children of my own, I have a huge heart for the homeless and down on their luck, I often am known to give them leftovers from food at work and those being released from the (many) jails in town. I would give anything to experience childbirth but it will never happen.

I do care about others mainly GLBT youth, Trans-youth and Youth of any GLBT with a LDS background. I know what its like to be rough, on the streets; I know what it means to go through tough times.

I've lost some family members and friends, some have told me I am disgusting (church family) and should be taken out back and shot like a dog, and all (FAGS) should be I was told that we need to be killed for we were evil. (this was a more redneck friend who lives is the infamous Jasper, Texas) which I lived briefly and didn't fit in to long.
But I have been told various degrees in the church. I do not attend very often or rarely. I sometimes attended non-domination churches and give my time money to various causes I support (pride Houston, Houston Equal Rights Alliance, Equity Texas, HRC and various affirming or glbt friendly church's such as the metropolitan community church)

I converted about 5 or so years ago I did feel overly pressured into joining, even though my ultra-right wing consertive die hard southern redneck right wing upbringing I joined and converted and felt overly pressured but had some faith and beliefs . little did some know my reason was to hide my transgender feelings and inner self? I had sprits of hate, and even far right neo-Nazi background.

I did sometimes between my rough young adult hood, be self-distractive out of personal insecurities, I had started seeking counseling for my gender issues.
I grew up in a small town (Harvey,LA) but moved around often to do family and problems with me as a unhappy child. a suburb that was not to heavily damaged by hurricane Katrina outside New Orleans, LA. I prayed for the storms to destroy the area so I could have e a reason to transfer get away from the Latter day saint church. I transferred to Houston, TX become active but some abusive co-workers who I went to high school with abused me at the workplace, beat me up do to thrills of knowing I had no local ties, and threatening to out me as transgender I started drinking heavy, smoking heavy and my apartment felt like a prison. My work performance declined. They threaten to out me to my folks, family and friends. I would not stand up for myself do to personal, family and religious insecurities.

I eventfully got hurt on the job, burned out in a failed OD suicide attempt I was knocked out for a few days and a month on painkillers, I never drove drunk but was ok in my life. I did some bad things and said things, and blamed others and continued to be self-distrtuvive lost a scholarship I worked hard to due to the folks abusing me and intimiateding me lived in my apartment complex.

I served some time in the Harris county jail, for a terrositic thereat (verbal thereat like disorderly conduct or CLASS B misdemeanor and resisting arrest. I was kicked and hit with a tazer over 50-100 times. I moved to (Montrose) known as the glbt section of town. I am out to my family, friends and church (to their disapproval) due to the fact I want to go into media and activism and eventfully work in indpendant media or as a journalist. I enjoy traveling and do not like flying or cruse ships (confined spaces and germs) I also enjoy rving and would like small plane piloting boating or chartered flights, given when moving here I was arrested later for some unpaid traffic warrants out of state that were cleared but not cleared in NCIC do to backed up paper work of the local govt and city and state of Louisiana. During this time 2-3 years ago I spent time in a now closed (city jail) for the reason of a terboculus outbreak and the jail was locked down by the health department and the federal govt.

I made bad choices became a drunk my work performance slid down the tubes. During my drinking, drug abuse but (never driving on the job) I burned out, hurt a lot of folks locally with poor words, drunken fits and rage and I was self destructive out of self-hatred for myself, and un-acceptance.

I also am more civil libertarian, and green party and more right wing on some issues than the mainstream GLBT community. I am more open and agree with you on your views of polygamy in the old days of the church. I am more right wing on some sexual issues as well and prefer monogamous relationships. And family. I believe at current my records are at the Brays Bayou YSA ward in Houston (near the galleria) But I rarely attend and if so just briefly for part of the first meeting.

I do plan to move on day to Dallas or Austin but dream of retiring in rural Montana in a small border town not on most maps, is my big dream in the cold, wilderness and rural obscurity. I do like hiking, the outdoors, camping, backpacking, skydiving, bungee jumping. And fitness.

I don't dislike people with money but hate people who are born into privilege and do not know what it means to labor. I even if I won the lottery (I confess I play) I would not want things of wealth, power and privilege I am a big do it your-self type person, and if I cant or fail than I seek help (I don't like to admit being wrong but I am honest even brutally honest) I like firearms, but Don't like war, I am huge supporter of the first and 2nd amendments. 

I do Like money, power and control, but also enjoy the simple pleasures in life. maybe I'm spoiled hipiocrite.
Yes, I agree "single" and "dating" are often misunderstood. In the GLBT arena. I hit rough times and things have gotten better for me of late, but still have struggles ahead on the road to life and transition.

I utterly shocked others given from 16-25 or I was a very manly man, I tried so hard to fit in but was in pain and misrey. and Just broke down in the fall of 2006 and Could not take it anymore. I had tryed to go toward transition and being out open and ok but honestly was unhappy with myself, life and being who I am.