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Yesterday Is History.
Tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift.
That is why we call it the present.



Copyright Lee McInnis Gaetjens / McInnis Lee Gaetjens (2007-Current)

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Life is dear
By Lee

Life is dear to me the most for live is what I love the most.
I wish I could go back in time and warn myself the damage I will do to myself
But what is done is done, and the wheels of fate come into one.
I hurt myself and my family and love so dear.
My time and day is near.
Living is Living and not existing.
So I go another day, to hour to week to month living in the cradle of life I hold so dear.
Walking and being myself without fear. I hope I love myself and others more.
In the after life I bore.

©Lee McInnis Gaetjens / McInnis Lee Gaetjens (2007)

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Cry to die
by Lee McInnis Gaetjens
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com [e-mail]

The dawn of night and dusk to dawn
I search for myself from the lone star state to fate
I cry and live, love and die.
Give my life to what I want a new hope for us both.
The twisted web I live, around and round gone and here.
I wept into tears, for the pain I have in my soul.
Death knocking on heavens door.
The gates of hell are amidst.
Death pecking on the keyboard at my fingertips.
I will go and come again for myself it what blows in the wind.
Death down and around My lifeless body is smashed on the ground
On the streets of Houston, I bleed. Death knocking in the weeds.
Humble and loving I am the most.
The night-winds I grow the most.
Die I say to you now, blow my brains all over the ground.
I fly as free as bird; my cries for help have gone unheard.
Dead as a doornail, I like the street of Kirby lies at my side.
Wertheimer and Montrose to willcrest and the Katy freeway
I go side to side, the devil lies at my side.
The truck of Texas and ford and rangers I go down like a stranger
Unwanted and lost soul. My legacy is left untold.
My time is early and I coward now down the footsteps of death I falter
I say to all goodbye I will soon join My mother at her side.
In the gates of heaven or hell only time and I will know and will not be able to tell
Is god real or the latter day saints true, that is a question I will find out soon?
Or is it all a myth, the dawn of suicide is amidst.
My family and love goes down the life and blood and my lifeless body lies on the ground.
Goodbye I say to all who loved, lived and cared and tried.
I will soon be gone with the pain, my blood spills, and blood anointment down the drain
I slash my self left and right, my blood in the freezer at night, I explode and bleed to death.
Cut off the mistakes and wrong for death. To prove a point that we are equal.
Death will soon follow at once, for 26 years in this wrong body is soon to be gone.
Death knocking on the footsteps of dawn.
I say to you goodbye.
Now I lay down to die.


Disclaimer: Dark Poetry not a suicide note

Poet

Lee McInnis Gaetjens / MCINNISLEEGAETJENS @ GMAIL.COM / WWW.LEEMCG.COM
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The sunrises over space city.
The air of morning glory still rises
The girl goes to new hights
The mind is dead in her body
As she goes higher and higher, Death draws closer and closer.

She goes high above the streets of Houston down below.
She cllimbs on a edge
Her soul and passion lost long ago
She tumbles down below
She crys when she falls down
Her brains and blood splattered on the ground
She died for a cause, of transgenderism on the ground
Her pain and sorrows spills on the sidewalk, dead for reasons of abuse
Her soul, dies passion, her lifeless body dies in a brutal fashion
She will miss those who love her most
The pain is gone now today, one day she will lie in the streets at her side.

The only choice to make now, should she stay or go.
If she stay sthere will be double, If I go I will spill my blood double
She dies to others for no reason, but it is the season.
Goodbye to all and all a night, she flys to the sidewalk with might.

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Boy meets girl, and becomes one

By LEE mcg

Last to lust, death I must, Pain I suffer at the hands of others, pain and sorrow I swallow day to day, rape to smash in the face, jail to the bird. I fly away In Pain.

I suffer, the soul at the hands of others bowls, I cut and die, at the hands of others pie, I drown in sorrow at the hands of the grim reaper, death do I become at being one, I die in pain but not in vain, I hurt in the soul, going down the bowl.

I die, and bring death, to myself, rust and loss of lust, life and myself I falter at sea, blown with the wind, adrift in a bottle in a cruel world, that does not offer reallity, with slips, down with the clips, I ponder life, at the hands, of spite.

I want fire, pain and cuts, but could not hurt a flea, I have anger at those who abused me, myself others and pain Ive caused others, I suffer and soul at myself gone a lost cause, out to the world which blows bad.

I blow my brains out with mind, but a mind is a daydream, reality slips down the stairs, and my brain fills with hate and dispair, my family is puzzled and I am bedzzaled, I lost myself as me.

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I lived and died in a careless fashion, My blood spilled with out compassion.
I hope those left behind, understand I love them most, my choice is mine and mine the most.
I lived, died, and lied and bleed, the streets curmbleing with greed, and evil.
The evil of new orleans, and my abusers and ex-highschool bullys.
The gunshoots, spreading the streets with joy, I tumble like a toy.

Raped, hit, abused the most, I die with compassion, proud of myself in a nasty fashion.
I hope the life, I lived serve as a lesson to live.
I only wish I could have listened to those who tried to help me the most.
As a result I die this way, my mind filled with caos and fear.
I shed my last tear, My pity and sadness dieing now, going round and round.
For this reason, I go down and down the sewer I go.

MY soul, dead my head bleeds, the pain and suffering I have found.
My lifeless body lay on the ground, I hope my family could understand.
I wish the church would accept me the most, my death mattering not as much,
dieing for myself is what I bleed my soul swimming on the streets.

My mangled body, blood, brains and bones, beyond belief, lieing down on the streets. The splatter my tears o' joy. St pattys day in the loom, Dieing for a passion of doom, I lie down beyond hope, dieing for reasons of dope. I only wish I could no longer lie.

I hope you learn the most, support those who need help the most, I do it for passion and compassion, going down with out reason this is the season. My tormeneters will understand one day, reasons at bay, life is not what matters most, only ending it now is what matters the most.

The pain of death, is brutal, being to chickenshit is brutal. The cause and effect the chicken and egg, the death looms over pain. Pain and suffering is what I have, the loss of myself now lies, the blood shoot in my eyes.



Goodbye world, I say to you, be less judgemental and more supportive I say to you, while I lie down to die, my blood in your eyes. I die for lack of faith, having long ago given up, on myself and my cause, I die for reasons unknown. Lack of good judgement I have done, dead like you, I come undone, my web over tangled and body mangled. I tumble down to the streets of H-town.

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Passion Of the Dead

by Lee McInnis Gaetjens

I only want the pain, to end, a sigh of relief, as the end draws near. The tears or joy and sounds of death bring me no fear. The only thing I want the most, is the church and family and friends to accept me the most.

I lived, tried, prayed and died. I tried to trust and fit in, only to be fucked over again and again. I die for myself. I only wish I had lived, now I die for my cause. My blood on the hands of those, who hit, me, verbaly abused, me and mistreated me.

I want to kill my abusers the most, but Im to loving to hurt a fly, I just have a nasty mouth at times, my fatih and passion is gone, at the hands, of those who flew by night. My faith blood and lust and might.

I want my life again, my blood wasted over and over again. I had it taken from me. I drown my sorrows at the pub, my faith comes undone. I only want to die because I have no trust in anyone anymore. I die on the floor. I die with passion in a respectful fashion.

I only wish I had confided in other more than I had. I only wish I could allow others to hear my cries for help, my fingertips taping on the web, a web to come undone again and again. I lost things that mattered most, my family, my church, my job and my home the most. I miss others so. My blood on the eve of death, my heart pounding on my fingers, pricked by the needles of my soul and abuse dead on the ground, by life left in me hanging by a thread of a needle and a bed, a day I try to find life, gone the ways of the sandman, I die with a plan.

I only hope those who love me most, but dont understand me, I shock them comeing out the thee, I die for the reasons said, Death on the bed, the pussy of myself is near, death growing near and near. I try to ctr, but they do understand, the blood and shame I spread, so I lie down to die, bloodshoot in the eye. Ye, I say to you remember to me what I have done to you, I shall haunt those who hurt me most, who hit me and beat me and abused me the most.

I am sorry for the pain, I have caused others in my community with myself, I was young foolish and died for myself. Goodbye I say to you my soul will blow thorugh the streets where I found myself and grew my kness, I lived in pain, with no plan, and poor choices, my soul and voices, I die for myself, going down into pain, I die without gain.

I will look after those who come after me, and hope I can save them, my my soul blowing in the wind, my spirit living withinn, I hope i will be rembebered more positveily than I have been, a tack in the streets within. Goodbye world I say to you, I die now and go to rest, by dream-catcher dieing for its sins.

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She smiles a smile of heave

by Lee McInnis Gaetjens

She smiles a smile of heaven
She loves herself more than all
She loves life after the fall
She drives her truck with passion
She walks with grace and fashion
She gives A Smile of pride deeds done and life in stride

Lust for love for passion she sighs
With relief she blossims for lust the sight of beauty in lust
Dust to glory she shares her story
She does time for the crime\
She grows within her self the most for the crime she did the time

The reasons of death sets clear, what the path I shall take is very clear, I shall die for who I am my blood and passion under the skin, I suffer and cry at night. Wanting my nightmare to be over and to wake up and it all be a very bad dream but I can not so it must be
The reality of the story is all, her death was most preventable of it all she dies for faith glory and passion, for her self and others like her, splattered on the glory, without love, faith and help, she spreads her pain on the sidewalk, slowly deacying and rotting, in her grave others will follow shes not the first to fall, nor will she be the last.

The blood spread for her cause, to bring to light of it all, she had nothing to show other than her worlds said so her self. Its right thing to do, there is no question in her mind, that she is going to die, in prision, out on the streets, on death she weeps. Or story of the glory, the pain trickles down to her family left behind, in puzzlement looking in the mind, there nothing left to her self but her blood on the wall of those she hurt the most she dies for this reason of no hope for her self only to prevent others to fall, her way of life got her.

She should have listened most to others who had walked her footsteps the most, she is stubbron and dies for this reason, of pity shame and no reason. Her mouth gets her in trouble, and this is why she tumbles.

It comes and dies, gossip spreads amongst those who hate her most, she is to public with her self. Gone the way of nothing, no one to call, or give a ratts ass, she hides her pain with joy, the blood just a ploy.

Its said the deal is done, the only thing to wait is now let the pain go with time, theres no use left anymore, death knocking on heavens door. The blood sheads soon, with the splatter her voice gone, and the terror over, death going to herself soon. She lays down to rest in a bed of death.

Her crys for love go unanswered, her hope for love is gone with the wind.
Her hope for life, is gone the day of latter days.
Her faith is gone thoruhg the tubes, her suffering is living
Her death brings no glory, shame, only happyness of those around, that she will never say another hurtful thing again, dead on a slab they throw a party that the bitch is gone.

They are glad, they hate her so, she dies for her self, her passion and guts spills the streets of space city her heart stops beating, time stops flowing only death does she depart, her pain spilled on the ground, her broken heart gone forever it shall be done.

Only when and were is the question, it has been answered that is matter, her time shortly runs out, death becoming without doubt. The pain and sadness of it all, it did not have to be is the truth, she did it to her self, and so did others, through rape, beatings, verbal abuse she suffered. She had horrid dreams of it all.

The night wind, blows, and swallows, as the time ticks near and far, the death comeing soon at best, she lays down to rest, for a eternial sleep, she sets in very deep, the reason is unclear, only she can answer that. The others will be happy so, when they her of her demise, they have a party and celberate her demise.

Her crys are gone unanswered, her wish for help is gone, with the wind that as far, this poem serves a pourpose of acceptance and people like me will spread a message in time.

She goes where no as gone before, a blood on floor, the death and crime of passion gos someplace with out reason, her crys at night go unanswered, the system failed her most, the support gone with herself she leaves behind no-one but family and church who do not understand, in shock, puzzlement and dispair. Her blood in her hair, brains, and gone and pile of bones, the g-force to smash of the sidewalk break it all in passion, without reason she goes with the season, she dies for who she is, to spread a message of it all dont be so judgemental of it all, dont be so sterotypical or full of hate, she has not joy of anything at all is spreads on the wall
You lost yourself, who Matters most lost those who Love you the most, you want her to have the best, your want the asshole to leave you alone with yourself and glory. You want a life of your own, but you did this to yourself, only to spread you name in pain. Gain of shame you shall, heartbreak, and hurt you spread outloud, you die for a reason.

You are glad you came to peace, but its to late the deeds are done, you only spread love for others, and yourself. You are not loved by anyone, not even yourself, you are alone in pain, the time going down the drain, tick, tock it flys the time is soon to die, faith for something is long gone, your dreams and passions bring no joy, your shame you have caused, brought to your name you have done, you hurt to many and dug the grave, the circle is in motion for what is to come, the pain will not stop, except when the life is gone.

She only hopes for herself she makes good on the deed, the blood spilled in the streets, yourself and pain have no glory, except your name which will be forgotten in shame, disgust and the pain she caused your life has no meaning except death down the tips, of her bloodstained mangles bones and what used to be fingertips, your crie yourself down on to the ground, your blood spatered in motion. The community celbrates in joy, that the stupid bitch is now gone, who brought shame and embrassment to transflk, her legacy swept under the rug, gone in shame with no rememberance, you die for the reason. I'm not to be remembered because of my poor actions, It happens to best of us both.

I have not hope, love joy or shame. Only guilt, sorrow and pain, embarassemnt, remorse and shame. I carry the burdins of life, to the grave to myself, I go away now. Dead for being myself.

The angels look over her in heaven, she will watch over the earth, protecting others as her, maybe she will save so folk, thorugh spirit, light and guideing she dies for it.

She is shame and not a person, a freak of nature with out-purpose she, well be celbrated of being dead, by those in the community who abandoned her so, and she hurt, she is now swept under the carpet just the way they allways wanted, she did her part but she was thrown out to rot, she did a lot on her own, without any support and death. She will be glady not missed. It is only fair on she harm she has done, she is good-riddings it is done.

The hope is some can forgrive hope she can do ok in the afterlife- death going to the un-known she will die for what she owns, she is a good person, painfuly misguided without reason.

She is dead now it said, her bed covered in blood, the jolt of pain through her body, dead rotting in a shallow grave she dies brutaly with much pain, the story is what hurts most death comes and gos around. She dies and is found.

My dreams, roll into a end, I die for who I am, without a soul, I search for myself, only to find trouble and sorrows, Death and pain I swallow, I die for my cause, to further attention on the need, for equity indeed, I swallow my pride for a shadow, of death falling to the city streets.

I die without need, passion, love, or live, alone in spite, prision is not for me, so I shall be free. I die to bring light to the cause, of edna and life for itts reasons. Death be it is the season.

I try and lie, A devil and demon in my soul, tumbleing down around town, into suds I suck it down, I die with passion, for myself, I have no soul, no life blood, just bones and body, death to myself I cry out loudly.

I die for pain, of my blood spilled in the rain, I swallow my pride in doubt, faith and spirit gone with the wind, death on my doorstep in the town, that I go down, I kiss the sidewalk in glory, my blood splattered in glory, you die for yourself, your time becoming in doubt.

You dream of better times, faith and progression down the line, you want to get out, only to be abused, raped, tortured and tossed around, for you work harder than them all, kiss ass to be where you are, your death footsteps a-comin' your blood, glory and fame, to be found. At the cost of yourself left lieing lifeless on the ground, no soul when you carry out your actions, only blood, brains, bones, and reaction, you cry die and will miss yourself and family so, in pain of the actions you did yourself, your embarassment and shame you made you name, a good termnation in rain, you never hurt anyone else. They are glad you are gone, and your glad yourself.

You want the best for your folks, wish they could understand the pain, you have enqured all these years 26 years down the drain, death is comeing qucikly, seting in the pain it goes, round and round death gos.


You are dead for who your are, nothing matters any more, not even yourself or others, you lie dead for youself, to bring attention to the cause of need of equility for us all.
We live die, and live in fear my blood gets spilled as so many others, who have come and gone as I have. Only I shall miss myself, my love, thoughts on a slab in pain, dead down the drain.

You are yourself, and you, you want help as do, you admit you have issues, but uncertin where to go, but the grave yard of the bones, for yourself you moan, to send a message to congress, edna must be passed to try to break a cycle start equil rights for as all now is to late for yourself, your death and smears of legacy on the wall, blood dripping out your vains, your pain spread in gain.


You are who you are without doubt, I die and that is without passion, for no one loves me is the reason for the season, I am myself alone, dead to the bone, no heart and soul that is true, only a body with nothing, but death becoming.

It is true Im a jerk, I suck others dry, that is why I cry the only I thing I want most to be accepted for me the most. She lost what matters most herself, freedom and work the most, misrey loves company and that Is why I lie down in my grave.

It is my time draws near without passion or fear my time draws near death wispering in my ear, It is my time soon the most that is what I know the most, I hurt others for sure, but myself I endure.

I suck life the most, and that is why Im toast. Burned at the stake without compassion. She dies with much brutaly without compasson that is the reason i share with you my reasons are a foot, on deaths doorstep comes a-foot.

My time is now fast aproachs the nails on my coffin soon to pound into wood, the reason misunderstood. Those who hate me most, will have their party and clebrate my fall, with laughts and jokes about the idiot who once was there but not is gone. I die with cheer, wish those not even sheading a tear you know what I know that I must do it for the cause, for myself and others and those with no heart, my guts lie on the floor.

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Enforcer of the night, goddess of Houston Texas The Dark Angel of space city rides off in her lone ranger into the sunset

By Lee McInnis Gaetjens

I hurt knowing in Less than a month the time of action, reaction and choice sets in as the day draws closer to god, faith and some powers at be someplace, somewhere. I hurt knowing my right and wrong what is right and whats not.

I am having flashbacks of myself, the past, present and future. Possibly Houston despite the painful memory's and choices will work. Or can work if I work it. The life might be ok, someplace in a god or I prefer a goddess or some temple, faith and fate will kick into interpersonal growth and self discovery, love and self acceptance within myself, life, love and start to live again not exist.

The growth of my life myself god and a higher priest and or priestess, some power, someplace some where It continues to grow, bleed,l scream and discover. I know I am alive, but I Feel dead inside, my bag of bones, I slash down and bash my brains on the ground, But sober I shall, into Hell, or heaven only a god of my understanding shall tell.

I hurt knowing how bad I once was, the power of ego, lack of self-will and pity party, and boozing my way through medication, death, birth, and pondering into the future, not reliving the past I am gone, gone with the wind, the blood of my heart, mind, body and soul bleeds into the cesspool long gone and forgotten of the streets of Texas, Houston, and Harris county, the barker cypress and addicts reservoir I drown, the sam Houston toll way I smash into shame, forgotten who is to blame?

Do I really live, I don't feel alive in side, My colt 45 trembling at my side, I honk and reload and shoot the foe, of the past, present and future only to be lost by a pack of wolfs and wild creatures, off road, on the road and on and off. I stray around the interstate, us highway, farm to market roads, state highways, local roads, county roads, brown fields, oil derelicts, rednecks, yuppies, law men and women, Texas rangers.

On the seat of my Lone Ford Texas Ranger, I lie, The AK 47 by my side, the pipe bomb of narcissism dead by the hide, or cattle, the lonely gunshot that rattles. The single shot of faith the leap without bound and enlightenment the termination, and failures lie before me the girl who never was sleeps tight with the single shot she bites.

She cries at night with the 9mm by her head praying for life, and to be alive in her mind, body, soul and passion, she try to bring the courage into life and fashion. To hold on she must, to ride off into the sunset she shall, the lone ranger all jacked up she rides, in her 4x4 she goes west as she shall, interstate 10 westbound, up interstate 5 she rides the lone ranger into the sunset the fx4 emblems glistening under the full moon, like a werewolf she thrives off conversion, blood gets spattered lesbian bonnie and lee she shall, with the dog behind them she rides firearms by her and her companion she rides.

The vampire in her sucks the energy out of those she encounter, they abolish her, to all she encounters, she seeks revenge in her narc ism and ego and greed, its all about her not be. So she slaughters males, cops, people who care, she only is about her, and has a thin hair trigger, shooting left and right through being a terrorist, she slaughter with the pen not the sword. The death, body count and terrorist she leaves behind.

She slaughters her abusers, rapists, priests, sisters, and others like her. She makes poor on her word due to being a coward and greedy, a lier, narcissist, poet, and mind over matter, she has a spiritual hair trigger her AK47 of a mouth is the reason, that death is in the season in the air tonight, looking for her next victim at night, living and lieing, though terrorism, break a leg here and there, fire a gun or fireworks off in the air.

Break here and there, launder some money, take care of a person there, Red rum this, abuse that, beat the shit and get the truth out of the enjoyment of torturing others, and scaring the shit out of others as well. She might as well be in hell. She cant live with the faith and the bad girl thing does not cut it anymore, lieing down she pulls her kit and prepares to die on the floor, the pump action shotgun is not needed but she wants it is the season.

Maybe she committed some terrorism crimes, maybe it is all left behind. Maybe she shot the glass, at those in her past, framed those rice round and round, firing all around. The stick of TNT left in spite she gives a evil terroristic grin into the light. Left in the air tonight, she shoots all in spite, for it is the season, round em up and kill them for the reason.

She slashes a wrist there, cuts one on a nasty toilet on a forklift there, minuipltes this one there, and leaves that redneck out in the cold in disport, hatch this hatchet that, kill that one and don't do that.

She is a Texan by the oracle, of stupidity, so she shall get her 15 minutes of shame for the world is not to blame but the bitterness inside, she kills all at her side, for no other reason than the enjoyment of power, privilege, fear in the hearts of men, who abused her and she abused her self and did not listen. She is a vampire and helps terrorize others on the street, living out of a suitcase, boxes, and a truck on occasion, luxury hotels, and motels and rv parks, and army and police surplus shops are in season.

Gun depot, mom and pop she rides in stride, just put the bottle down for good this time, now fast aproching 5 to 6 months sober a choice now must be made in stride to keep leaping from life to life trying to fix what once went wrong, or keep going along in space city or the bayou city. Or shoot em up and fire up her pick em' truck and shoot across the open highway for a road trip with god as her god, savior and co-pilot along for the ride, keep shooting side to side.

The bitch and redneck and fucking attention whore is gone inside, she rides with her switchblade, and baseball bat at her side, and occasionally a 38 by her side, she wonders if she can ever live again. Or die trying or hop a train , or a amtrack, or maybe a greyhound or go back to hired help, putting fear and intimidation in the minds of men, her social path does not need to begin again.

Help is what she seeks, the holidays suck, she does not like the slut next door, whoring around left to right, she has more self will and pride than that, mind over matter, and damn sure her scams, and cons don't work, but she does and works hard, just lost the integrity in it all.

She is a selfish power, bitch the switch is off and that is agony, sometimes victor, henry, john, Enrique, james, Almaden, carl hurt the most. Her racism, and haltered and stereotypes of blacks, Mexicans, and inter racial is by what they did to her, long ago at west Jefferson high school the hurt her.

She views her self as a vampire, vigilante, Gothic, lesbian who hurts and brings fear power and control to the world, showing those who don't break the law, that they get her wish, as an enforcer here and there, while they honk she reloads destroying, all that oppose, with the pen not the sword she lies alive before to tell her story in a timeless fashion she is alive by gods passion.

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