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I was born Jan 18th, 1981 to my parents
Martin Clark Gaetjens & Kathryn Kathleen McInnis
Gay McAuliffe at Kiser foundation Hospital, at 2:03 am i n the morning
PST. I was a quick and emergency c-section
I was blue due to lack of air to the brain and a Emergency C-section
but alive and in good spirits regardless of
the cord being wraped around my neck 3 times. I was born in the era
before ultrasounds were norm, or mainstream,
when blood work took hours, and you didnt have wide spread computers
and before databases, the internet and digital
Lifestyle and cell phones, PDAs and pagers, FAX machines and
blackberrys were the part of every day life, before
24 hour cable news, I remember the 80s of my childhood. its who I am
and my favoirite time and a the end of a simpler
era before the big tech boom.
I was born Jan 18th, 1981 to loveing good parents who in conflit used
me to fight and split located at Keiser Foundation
Hospital in Oakland, CA. My Mother was Born and Raised in New Orleans,
Louisiana as My dad was born and raised
in New York City, New York State.
I was born at aprox. 2:03 AM (PST) a traumatic birth, I was kicking and
had swung myself around again, it was fast
approaching my time to join the world, in the early 1980s (the birth of
the digital age was still in infancy) Ultrasounds,
cat scans and things we take for granted and sometimes love and love to
hate were reserved for the few and elite
and very very expensive, pricey and not covered by my mothers and
fathers insurance and largely viewed as a novelty
medical device due to the limited availability, the high cost of
computer power and digital imaging ( we are still
in the dark ages and the birth though not boom of personal computing)
I had turned myself around and My life might be in danger, my mother
had to choose to wait for X-rays (you still
used film and the process took time you had to manually develop in
those days and have a actually tech not a computer
do the work for you the days of skilled labor, and unions were still
here) My mothers gut and parenting instinct
told her to go into labor, and not wait for the tests which was a very
good thing, I was an emergency C-section
at the time (modern medicine of the late 70s and early 80s discouraged
c-sections) I was born blue and not breathing
but early Regan era medicine saved my life.
I had a childhood of conflict, my mother had left New Orleans fairly
liberal in the 1960s, my uncle (who later
became more my father figure my moms brother) left for Texas, which I
would later follow in his footsteps. My father
is very far left liberal and new York can be more right wing left the
slums of the Bronx which was different from
today and people like jerry orbach and others grew up in the Bronx in
his era.
My mother moved around the west coast Portland, or, Richmond, ca when
(I was born) redneck town in a blue state.
Same with Houston and Texas there is blue you just have to know where
to look much more blue than in New Orleans.
My mom left my father and came back 3 times before going to separation,
My father had a drinking problem and as
a child there is much to be disputed (it sucks when parents bring the
kids into the equation) I honestly believe
after uncovering things during my mothers death that she was to blame
as much as My dad, they were different people
who were not right for each other but tried to do the best for me but
the blood and booze spilled.
I have felt conflict with my gender from a very young age roughly
beginning around age 3-5 years of age, which
begins my separating my parent's fights and ultimately leading to going
home to sweet old Harvey, Louisiana in
Jefferson parish.
I think my earliest memory is I always as a younger child fit in more
with the girls, and latter was more obscure
from a lack of socializing and overly protective mother, afraid of my
father and others (allegedly he sent a P.I.
to hunt us down or a hit man or some bullshit) I think parents out of
bad digressions do bad and stupid things,
I feel my father gave up, and my mother shut him out, they both did
their parts to hurt and lie on each other,
and hurt me in the process.
I had a rough childhood, history of dalliance, good upbringing, my
family has a large catholic background, and
my mom quit practicing, and also had much conflict with my grandmother
in my early childhood, and young adult hood
and early pre-teen years.
I was subjected to beatings punishments for my arrogances and stupidity
and destructive and obscene and profanity
and sinful actions in my youth. I had been beaten, and even was called
evil and sinful.
I think a lot of parents want to protect their children but I was
overly protected and overly sheltered in my youth
to the point of being naive though young adult-hood and even into
adulthood partially.
I think my first remembrance of feeling like a girl, was when I was 3
or 5 so years old when my mother returned
here and was "hiding" from my big evil dad. With her atty and lawyer in
my family's "empty"
that my mom, my uncle and (adopted sister) were raised in house uptown
New Orleans in Broadmor which some may know
better given its coverage during Katrina.
We were in there waiting for my dad to show up. I think my mom often
played games with my father and wanted to
win custody and wanted out of the marriage out of poor taste,
unhappiness, or homesickness, or maybe wanting the
best for me. I believe to some degree my father wanted the best for me
but gave up, I don't trust nor distrust
him to much today, but he is my flesh and blood and we share some
similar DNA.
I think my father sometimes says one thing but actions, and words and
cause and effect, as my mother was just as
equity guilty in a lot of my life as were many other people.
My memory goes to some point of waiting for a lawyer, I think she had a
little girl with her or her nanny stopped
by to see her or something (cell phones were rare, pricy and prestige
to yuppies, millionaires and drug dealers
and generally installed in cars with the like curry cord most people or
working class doctors, cops, fire ems used
pagers and pay phones in those days if you could afford one or be
issued one)
Regardless I think we played some or it may have been a neighbor, it
was fun and enjoyable, I think I played dead
and held a rose some sort of neo-gothic romance thing blah. And look at
me today.
Regardless as I grew up I got in trouble, but was generally moralistic,
but acted out a lot, I had a troubled child
hood, which I would later find out to have suffered brain damage at
birth to the left frontal lobe, I also I think
the local Houston company Medtronic's was to a trail which never met
FDA approval to try and repair my damaged
brain nodes but failed and they still struggle the FDA does not
conceder it safe and an elective surgery. I also
struggled with speech and being or having social contact due to a very
overly protective mother.
Moving forward I go to the school years, I fit in but was often alone
and troubled an unhappy youth, I did sometimes
in early childhood play with girls and make friends, and even had a few
kiddies' girl friends in childhood. Blah.
Obscurity the house where she lived across from were I played as a
kiddle was and still is there she was a army
brat and where my school was now stands some yuppie new homes as about
built in my high school years.
I trough pre-teen and young adult hood and early to mid childhood
started gender bending as some would call and
even ado lance. My family "caught" me a member as a child never spoke
to it to others but did beat me
well for doing such a "wrong" thing. I had a more ultra-right wing
consertive GREAT-uncle not the uncle
who was like my father he was more like a grandfather but very stubborn
and right wing.
I had a great-aunt who growing up was like a grandmother but she was
much older than my grandmother, and my grandmother
kept her youth in appearance even to today to some degree despite her
health problems.
I also began watching other girls wishing I could be them but In
puzzlement did not understand given my right wing
upbringing and roots, in south east Louisiana. I found a new
self-reflection but in utter puzzlement, I spent some
of my youth at night going to sleep dreaming of waking up in a new
body, something about that felt right and something
about what was wrong is now and that is correct. But things of that
nature are taboo and get your ass kicked but
religious right wing zealots, My mother was ok with long hair, but
others did not like it and wanted nothing to
do with me unless I cut it, did not like playing and ran firm 1920s
discipline. I had a slightly though good natured
loving side, but with turmoil inner I had a destructive, rebellious
side sort of a Mr. Hyde and miss nice gal personality
or something of that nature.
Even to this day, with my nice outgoing, caring giving personality,
very friendly and trusting and stubborn and
procrastinator self, it hides my true self, for so many years my hard
work, risk taking, warehousing, and taking
dumb risks and dumb luck I tired for all to hard and long to be a man,
sure I may have attended glbt support groups,
I converted to LDS or Mormonism as its commonly known to deny my own
true self.
While I had searched for some peace within myself, I often wanted more
and joined for the wrong reasons, I agree
LDS folk are good kind, trustworthy folks but lost and misguided.
I remember in my young adulthood 18+ being misguided. And my mother and
I and with my family rocky relationship
and after her death 2 weeks after 9-11-2001 on my uncles birthday on
September 25th that same year of the infamous
terrorist attacks. Which ironically by birth and coming out and also
becoming a terrorist myself or according to
the state of Texas would be on the same year.
I'm very weary of dates, places, and parts to my life, and family.
Given the past 3 deaths in my family have been
on relatives birthdays. I lost and loose a lot for myself, and life.
I often find and even growing up secretly continued my cross-dressing,
but as adalonace hit in I often tried the
hardest to fit in and for many many years hid my true feelings about my
true self, this is almost 10 years lieing
to myself and trying to forget and hide myself or do a cure for all and
pretend to be a real, man. I was not or
will ever be.
I later in teenage years became very obese I over ate became unhappy,
with myself, my body, my gender and my sexuality
something felt broken I felt wrong sinful and shameful, joining the
Latter Day Saint (Mormon) church made me feel
worse.
I often even under the silly jokes and even today with my outgoingness
live a dark, twised depressed and lonely
and unhappy life to this date.